From the Late Show Top Ten archives:

Top Ten Answers To The Question, “How Hot Is It?”
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“It’s so hot, Kim Jong-Il has been stockpiling Italian ices” |
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“It’s so hot, Star Jones has enjoyed getting the cold shoulder from Barbara Walters” |
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“It’s so hot, Kobe Bryant is only nailing girls who work at Dairy Queen” |
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“It’s so hot, Regis is hosting a new show called ‘America’s Got Heat Stroke’” |
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“It’s so hot, President Bush told the sun to ‘Stop doing this sh**’” |
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“It’s so hot, the terror alert level was raised to ‘sweaty’” |
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“It’s so hot, the writer passed out before he could finish this joke” |
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“It’s so hot, Osama Bin Laden was spotted in front of the air conditioners at P.C. Richard” |
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“It’s so hot, a disoriented Bill Clinton has been hitting on Hillary” |
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“It’s so hot, Barry Bonds is injecting Slurpees in his ass” |
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