by Holly Richmond.

They met reading TreeShagger. (It could happen!)Photo: Katya Litvinenko

You know what they say: If you want to pick up a climate
hawk, you gotta learn to fly. (Or something. No, this is not the time to get
your pilot’s license.) If you’re tired of choking down wheatgrass-and-vodkas at your local hipster bar, or you
have a permanent eye twitch from winking at cuties during yoga, I will teach you where to find a suitable
green lover.

Farmers markets. There’s
something to be said for feigning an interest in soil-encrusted vegetable
bulbs. You can engage in corny double entendre with the grower, for instance
(melons! O ho ho!), or “accidentally” brush the hand of a fellow bok choy
lover. Fighting over the last leek is even considered an aphrodisiac in some
cultures. (Yes, The Last Leek is
going to be the title of my memoir.) But you want love in your canvas bag
today, my friend, not just vegetables—so keep your eyes on the prize.

CSAs and co-ops. Maybe farmers markets aren’t your thang (too many tambourines, right?). Consider
joining a CSA (community-supported agriculture), advises Grist Cities Editor Sarah Goodyear. As a CSA member,
you’ll pay for a weekly box of seasonal farm bounty from roughly June to
December. You might pick the boxes up from a central location where you can
rub elbows with other locavores, and you might even be called upon to work a
shift or two. (Central
Brooklyn’s CSA has volunteers deliver the produce boxes to other members or
help at a soup kitchen.) Better yet, join and volunteer for shifts at a
natural-foods co-op (like Brooklyn’s hardcore Park
Slope Co-Op). You’ll have an excuse to literally check out other members if
you work at the cash register.

Green mixers, fairs,
and networking events. Green Drinks is a happy hour for peeps into sustainability, in roughly 730 cities worldwide.
Find one nearby or start your own, but you
HAVE TO go alone. (I know. It strikes fear into my heart-pockets too.) If you
live in Seattle, San Francisco, L.A., Chicago, or NYC, hit up GreenFest, an annual
two-day expo brimming with lots of “soymilk” to “sample,” know what I mean? (You could even volunteer there.) Or
find vegetarians and vegans at VegFest,
another annual festival that comes to seven cities. There’s also Go To Green LA, Green Edge NYC, and Seattle’s Out for Sustainability. Don’t
forget 400-plus sustainability
groups on Meetup.com. Live in Hollywood-town? “Try to land a green
celebrity at a Global Green event,” advises
Grist social maven Hanna Welch.
Hey, now that ScarJo’s
single …

Broaden your scope.
The greenie of your dreams might be into other progressive causes too (reproductive rights, oceans, urban gardening) or might share other interests (home brewing, science, guerrilla
knitting) so get involved in groups that light your fire. Volunteer to
register people to vote, because nothing’s sexier than democracy. Linger in a
bike shop or vegan
restaurant. And find cool seminars, lectures, or workshops in your town,
like Seattle’s Science with a Twist (nerds with cocktails = dreamy!). Held by
the Pacific Science Center, the next Science with a Twist is a pre-Valentine’s
shindig called Sultry Science including burlesque, hors d’oeuvres, a “jazz laser show,” and admission to two
science center exhibits. Hot!

Outdoor music and art
festivals. For a savory blend of hippie and hipster, hit some of the annual music
fests around the country. Something about music, alcohol,
and tents just brings people together, if you catch my drift. There are
approximately one zillion such festivals (so check out this much longer
list), but here’s a few to whet your whistle:

Burning
    Man

Where & when: Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, 8/29/11 -
    9/5/11
Who you’ll meet: 50,000
    dreadlocked white kids trippin’ on E. Kids in their forties, I mean. Some naked. Brace yourself.
Why you should go: For the
    stories. But stay alive, son. There’s some strong shit out there.

Bumbershoot

Where & when: Seattle, Labor Day weekend
Who you’ll meet: Your neighbors,
    parents, kids, hipsters, everyone on the West Coast.
Why you should go: There’s a wide
    range of performers, from small local bands to radio darlings to Bob
    Dylan. But it’s not just music. There are comedians, author readings,
    short films, food … plus, you don’t have to camp, and there’s a fairly
    low new-age crystal factor.

SXSW

Where & when: Austin, 3/11/11
    – 3/20/11
Who you’ll meet: “Essentially, the
    whole downtown area becomes overrun with hipsters,” advises Austin writer
    Jesse Noyes. “Expect to
    see a lot of bandanas hanging from back pockets.”
Why you should go: In addition to
    over 80 (!) stages, there are hundreds of unofficial shows around the
    city. But it ain’t just music—panel discussions and speakers are a big part of
    it too, covering everything from social media to racial issues to moon missions.

Green film fests. These are
a beast all their own (like Falkor the pink dragon-dog in Neverending Story, but way less creepy). There’s the Wild
& Scenic Film Festival in Nevada City, Calif., as well as festivals in San Francisco, Harrisburg, D.C., and Golden, Colo., to name a few. SOMEbody’s gonna touch
fingers in the popcorn bucket, mmm hmm? (Just make sure they use real butter.
And save the tongue-dancing ‘til
after the movie, OK? Or I will throw my
shoe at you.)

So where have you met a
green hottie? Spill in the comments!

Related Links:

How to get the boob tube to tell the truth about climate change

The Oscar-nominated green documentary short you have to watch

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